As some of you have noticed, I went MIA there for a little while. I didn’t post anything on this blog for two weeks. Two weeks!! That’s a long time. But I wanted to explain to my loyal readers why I was gone, and remind you that I’m back and I’ve come swinging.
I first decided to take a break because I started to get really stressed. School is starting this month, and there are so many things my mind makes me worry about even if there’s no logical reason behind it. I was worried about being prepared for school in every way possible, worried about money (I’m always worried about money), worried about time management, and just worried in general.
Honestly, I was really worried about keeping this blog up and running. Even in the summer, jumping from job to job, I sometimes found uploading to be difficult, as you could probably tell from my posts being a day or two off schedule. Again, I apologize for that. Since I was already having so much trouble keeping my blog going during the summer, I started to stress about how I was going to keep this baby afloat while going to school full time and having a job.
I also wanted to make sure I was putting out quality content for you guys. Sometimes I get so lost in the task of posting that I don’t think hard enough for my content. That’s a no no. Bad Emma. I needed to step back and have some time to think up some really cool and fun ideas for y’all.
Okay, so one of the things I was working on in my absence was launching my clothing. For the past few months I’ve been taking some old clothes and redesigning them. I’ve also been hand making jewelry, just having fun with my creative fashionable side. I’ve opened a tint little shop on Depop. Below are a few examples of what I have for sale. (Shoutout to Hailey for modeling for me like a pro.)
These are just a few examples of what I currently have for sale. Soon I am going to link all my products on a new page of my blog, but in the meantime if you are interested in checking out my Depop shop, my username is @ewolfe.
That’s one exciting thing I’ve been secretly working on. The next is I recently found an old book I started writing in high school. A few of my friends have begun reading what I have so far, but the book is still far from being completed. However, I really think I’m onto something with this book, so I wanted to offer y’all a little exert of the product as is.
Are you ready? Here we go.
The day drones on and on. Everyday drones on and on. There is no more waking up at 6:30 in the morning on a Saturday. There is nothing left to do.
Sometimes, I stop by to visit Monica’s mother. I go to that big, white, unbelievable house, and knock Monica and my secret knock. Three times fast, two times hard, double ring bell, knock once. It used to be that Monica’s mother was never home, so this knock never bothered her before. Nothing bothered her before. Not the bottles in trash. Not the withering bones of her daughter.
After Monica died, her mother’s business collapsed. Her clients started to say, “Why would I take counseling from a woman who can’t even control her daughter?” Harsh, these people. Ignorance adorns them.
Today is Sunday, January 10th, 2:00 p.m. I do the secret knock, over and over and over again. “Jess, go away!” I hear from behind the door. Knock, knock, knock, “Jess, get off my property!” Ring, Knock, Bang, Bang, BANG
Eventually, I lose rhythm, and start wailing on the door. Kicking it hard, leaving marks. I slam my fist on the doorbell and break the button. Monica’s mother screams at me to go away, but I refuse.
Finally, the door swings open and she stands there. Pajamas, mascara, and a mess of hair. Wild eyes that are dry. Dry here, dry at the funeral. And I stand up straight like Monica taught me.
“What do you want?” She asks me, furious. I knock every Sunday, but usually not for this long. Usually I get tired and walk away. But not today.
“Monica.” I answer. “I want Monica.”
“Monica’s gone.” She spits.
“Thanks to you.” I hate her.
“Thanks to me?” Her eyebrows arch.
“She told you. And you didn’t listen. You didn’t care.”
“And she didn’t tell you.”
I wrinkle my eyebrows. My heart sinks. And my hand bleeds as I scratch my car key against my palm in my jacket pocket.
“She didn’t tell you.” She repeats. She steps outside onto the porch, barefoot. Her toenail polish is chipped. I step backward at her advance. “She didn’t trust you. And you weren’t there.”
“I was the only one there.”
“Don’t lie to yourself.”
I pause. I stare into her eyes. Green. Bright green like Monica’s. And I realize for the first time, that I have no idea what this lady’s name is.
“Are you going to visit her?” I ask.
“The grave. The one with the tombstone that has your daughter’s name on it.” She doesn’t answer me. Just looks confused.
“Next time you go,” I say, “if you ever do,” I’m bleeding, “you should check out the dates.”
Today’s Monica’s birthday.
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!! HOLD THE PHONE.
Y’all weren’t expecting all that, huh? I bet you were expecting some little sappy love story but instead I took y’all down a depressing rollercoaster ride. I bet y’all have so many questions. Who’s Monica? How’d she die? Why is her mother such a b*tch?!?! Guess you’re gonna have to wait until the book is doneeeee.
Aside from making clothes, photographing clothes, uploading the pictures of clothes, and dedicating hours upon hours into the night for this book, I’ve also been drawing a little again. I don’t want to include any pictures of my artwork yet because they’re still in the works, so I will probably be making a whole separate post for those. I’ve also been reading some new books, which I will also be keeping behind the scenes because I want to write some reviews for y’all.
Basically, I’ve been busting my little busy bee booty trying to be creative. I just wanted y’all in on a little behind the scenes, so you know that although I am not always punctual, I am always working very hard.
I actually have a HUGE product in the works for you. Gigantic. Massive. Extraordinary. You just wait and see.
Thank you for staying tuned and being patient with me. Peace,